Bullying often takes place online these days, so parents need to get tech-smart

By Michiko Fuller and Matthew Young, Correspondents Campbell
What is cyberbulling?
The formula is well known: some children are targeted as weak, particularly if they have low self esteem. Body size, religion, nationality, personality and ethnicity are all potential factors, but this is all old news. Kids will be kids, and school-time disputes are expected.
A push on the playground or the chant of a name-calling song can easily be spotted among a group of children under the supervision of an adult. Appropriate action can be taken when it is physically apparent to teachers. But what happens when the bullying occurs online and out of sight of witnesses?
Santa Clara County parents, educators and authorities are all working to decipher the underlying problem amid myriad variables that come with changing demographics, stress and technology.
Different groups have a variety of approaches and philosophies, but a lack of consensus on the level of intervention and who is ultimately responsible makes a unified approach difficult. Still, many educators are forward-thinking and have been working on the problem for a number of years.
Joseph DiSalvo, who spent 33 years as an educator and was recently elected president of the Santa Clara County Board of Education, worked extensively with middle schools throughout the valley. For many years, he wrote an education column for Silicon Valley Community Newspapers. In that column and in others he has written for the San Jose Inside website, he wrote often about the problem of bullying.
"Bullying is pandemic in middle school culture," DiSalvo said in a San Jose Inside column. "There's no single way to deal with it." He found in the short term that children become unhappy and develop low self esteem and even psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches and stomach aches.
In a 2005 piece in the Palo Alto Weekly, DiSalvo identified cyberbullying as "a new form of bullying that could grow," adding that, "most parents would be surprised at what their children are saying and doing electronically."
The anonymity of Internet message boards, social networking and other communications, combined with the speed of those mediums, leads many children and adolescents to engage in behavior that they may not have participated in face to face.
"There's a line in a Brad Paisley song that goes, 'When you're 17, you don't think past Friday night,' " said Thomas Jacobs, author of Teen Cyberbullying Investigated.
A former Arizona judge who worked with juvenile and family courts, Jacobs is an expert on the topic.
"Well, when it comes to the digital world, kids don't think past the moment, but it can change a life forever," Jacobs said. "Bullies think they're safe because they're in the privacy of their bedroom with the door closed. They forget that the Internet is unforgiving and never forgets anything posted online."
Different environments
With the majority of children attending public schools, most attention is focused on the public school system. In California, as in many other states, schools are facing less funding, larger class sizes and overworked teachers in fear of pink slips.
One person who has seen firsthand the difference the size of a school population can have on bullying is Dan Ordaz, a former administrator in the East Side Union High School District and now the executive director of University Preparatory Academy in San Jose. "The size of the school matters a lot. The public schools can be large and difficult to manage and control," he said.
At University Preparatory Academy, Ordaz said there was a sense of community that wasn't always apparent at a big high school. "There's a lot that can go on unseen on a big campus."
Another private school that tries to confront bullying head-on is Valley Christian Schools.
All students who enroll in VCS must agree to follow a strict code of conduct that addresses bullying specifically, both on- and offline.
"Private schools set their own rules for students," Thomas Jacobs said. "They must, of course, comply with state laws regarding corporal punishment, but can act quicker in response to a violation of a school rule. Cyberbullying in a private school can be dealt with swiftly whereas a response to a complaint in public school may take what seems like forever, if addressed at all."
To address the issue, VCS works to bridge a growing digital gap between adults and youth in their schools, which serve almost 2,300 students.
"Adults must keep up with the technology that this generation is using," said Lisa Arnett, vice principal at Valley Christian Junior High. "Our students have never known a time without technology, yet their parents are often not as tech-savvy as their children."
The school also works to stay on top of technologies, so educators can be effective in administrating them. "With the debut of each new gadget or innovation, a surge of issues emerges until educators learn about it and how to guide students in its use," said Arnett. The school has an IT department, employs a full-time educational technology professional and provides incentive pay for teachers.
Whether at a private or public school, the issue of who is ultimately responsible is debated among parents, educators and authorities.
"If something happens on Saturday, are they really in school?" asked Ordaz. "Even at 9 p.m.," he said. "It's a no, but if it's something that started on campus or continued on during the day, there's some responsibility we have to try and resolve the issue."
He said that depending on the severity of bullying, he can take a range of actions from suspending the student to counseling someone. If the problem is more severe, the school will file a police report or consider expulsion.
Responsibility is clearer for private schools. "VCS believes that parents are ultimately responsible for handling the issue," Arnett said. "VCS partners with parents in the education of their child."
Legal aspects
A team of investigators from the San Jose Police Department's Silicon Valley Internet Crimes against Children Task Force fields complaints about cyberbullying in local schools.
Rey Cedeno, a crime prevention specialist with the San Jose Police Department and part of the task force's outreach program, said cyberbullying is a growing problem among middle school students aged 13 to 14, and is against state law.
Penal code section 653m states that those intending to harm others, whether they use technology or not, could be guilty of a misdemeanor. Other laws are pending that give schools authority to address infractions in the area.
"California has addressed the issue by adding bullying through electronic communications to their education code," Jacobs said. "This authorizes public schools to suspend or expel students who cyberbully during school hours or at a school event."
Ultimately, the consensus is that education of all parties involved is a big part of the solution.
"All parents should make the effort to at least get on the same page with their kids so they can appropriately monitor their online activities," said Jacobs. "Know their passwords, let them know you're monitoring them online, set boundaries and build trust with them. Bottom line: parents need to 'tech up.' "
Debbie Eitner, the technology teacher and coordinator at Monroe Middle School in the Campbell Union School District, said she spends two to three days in her classes each term teaching her students about Internet safety.
The first day, she said, she discusses online predators. She teaches her students the facts about what is safe to post. The second and third day she talks to her students about digital reputation and how to create good digital reputations.
Principal Aurora Garcia of McKinley Elementary School in the Franklin-McKinley School District has had the challenge of working with sixth-grade girls and boys through a program called STAND.
Former staff member Joy Wenke was a mentor for many sixth-graders at McKinley. She created a girls' mentor group to smooth the transition from sixth grade to middle school. Garcia said that there seemed to be a positive effect from participation in the program.
"The girls that were in Wenke's group seem to not have been affected as much as the boys in the school," Garcia said. "It's possible because these girls were in her group."
The Sunnyvale Department of Public Safety provides help to kids and parents by informing the community of the problem of cyberbullying. Officer Holly Lawrence, a neighborhood resource officer, has been installing programs at Sunnyvale schools to create more awareness about cyberbullying.
According to Lawrence, the real solution to cyberbullying is for school officials and parents to get ahead of the bullying. As long as the message is being sent out and the same message is being received, prevention will be much easier.
Whether you are a parent, teacher, administrator, public safety officer or student. the words of Ann Brownwell from the Amanda Network resonate.
"We've found the saying, 'Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you' to be untrue. Words can hurt. They can be deadly."
This story was researched and written by the students in Tom Ulrich's Journalism 153 Magazine Writing and Editing Class at San Jose State University. In addition to the two primary authors, the following students contributed to this article: Nic Aguon, Katie Davidson, Lidia A. Gonzalez, Kelsey Hilario, Ellen Lee, Jordan Liffengren, Jen Nowell, Jose Napoleon Ortez Jr., Suzette Marie Rios-Scheurer and Angelica Valera.
People Acting in Community Together (PACT): An interfaith, grassroots organization that empowers everyday people to create a more just community. 1100 Shasta Ave., Suite 210, San Jose, 95126, www.pactsj.org, 408.998.8001

Mayor's Gang Prevention Task Force (S.T.A.N.D.): A program that offers youth, ages 11-18, the skills to successfully connect with their home, school and community, while becoming productive citizens. Noble House, 14630 Noble Ave., San Jose, 95112, http://sanjoseca.gov/prns/mg
ptf/stand.asp, 408.251.7307

Project Cornerstone: A program of the Y (YMCA) focused on building developmental assets (the qualities children need to become healthy adults) in the youth, including classroom training to help children learn to how to handle bullying and other skills that help them maintain a positive self image. 1922 The Alameda, San Jose, CA 95126, www.project
cornerstone.org, 408.351.6482.

Judge Thomas Jacobs: Jacobs' site aims to provide answers for teens about the law. www.askthe
judge.info.

Stop Bullying Now! Campaign: The site aims to inform and provide youth and adults about resources for bullying awareness, prevention and intervention., http://stopbully
ingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/default.aspx, 1.888.ASK.HRSA.

STOP Cyberbullying Campaign: A program of Parry Aftab and the Wired Safety Group, it's an informational site on cyberbullying that gives prevention tips and ways to take action. www.stopcyberbullying.org, 201.463.8663, or e-mail parry@aftab.com.

Internet Safety Coalition: A broad partnership of parents, educators and policymakers working together to teach children the safe and healthy use of technology and the Internet. 1401 K Street N.W., Suite 600, Washington, D.C., 20005, www.ikeepsafe.org, 202.587.5583/toll-free (1.866.794.7233, or e-mail: info@ikeepsafe.org.

Cyberbullying National Crime Prevention Council: A public advertising campaign aimed at preventing cyberbullying. 2001 Jefferson Davis Highway, Suite 901, Arlington, VA., www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying, 202.466.6272.